Last week was a huge challenge for me! Well, they all have been really but, something about last week just really got to me. So after the week I had with last weeks challenge it was a little hard for me tonight to find the words to even post the next challenge. I pulled up the blog wrote a few things, and then walked away. Then did it again and walked away, but still didn't feel that the words or ideas were inspired by God. So I had to delete it all pray about it and start all over. And here we are!
Sticking with the same verse this month PROVERBS 31:12 "She brings him good not harm all the days of her life." We have one last challenge that goes with this verse!
After the week I had last week it took everything in me to continue with this challenge this week, but I'm going to push through those feelings and continue to strive to be the wife God intended for me to be. Just because something gets harder and harder, doesn't mean we just quit, in that case none of us would even be a Christian! That's the beauty of being a Christian, see, we know that the outcome will eventually be good because God is for us! We might go through a lot of valleys and have to pull ourselves through some quick-sand along the way, but how comforting to know that God is waiting at the end to celebrate our victory! That has been the ONLY thing that has kept me going some days. Going through trials and hard times should just make us want to run through them faster and harder just to get to the other side!
So going along with our other challenges this week I want us to work on "the way we speak to our husbands" trying to be "gentle not harsh."
This one again I can already tell you is going to be a hard one for me. I am a very strong person. I know what I want and when I put my mind to something I make sure I accomplish it! I also can be very aggressive at times, I have a strong personality, however, I'm also VERY sensitive. When I love someone, I REALLY LOVE THEM! When I'm friends with someone, I'm fully committed to that friendship for life, and when I hear someones problems, I don't just hear it with my ears I feel their pain and take on the situation as if it were my own. Sometimes it's hard for me to take that sensitive heart on the inside and let it match the outside.
When my husband and I first got married and I knew he was called into ministry, I would watch the Pastor's wives at the churches we'd go to. I would study them from their hair styles, to the way they prayed to their actions and the way they talked. The one thing I found in all of them, is that they are some of the strongest women on the outside, and the most sensitive loving women on the inside. The key was in the way they balanced it. See God doesn't want us to throw away that strong side in us, he wants us to just use it for the right reasons. We need to have that strong, aggressive side to us so we can be bold in our faith, and stand up for our family and children. When we allow that side to dominate and to tear down our husbands with harsh words, that is when having a strong, bold side becomes harmful.
The way we speak to our husbands is so important! It not only can harm him, but also our children. Those of us with little kids know that children hear and repeat EVERYTHING! We not only don't want them repeating harsh words but we don't want them to grow up thinking it's okay to marry someone who treats them harshly because their parents acted that way!
Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue has the power of life and death..." Your words have the power to give your husband life, or tear him apart! Your words also have the power to give your marriage life, or death! How many times can you think of when you've spoken to your husband badly, or torn him down with words? Again it could just be little things like for instance "Did you not fix your hair today?" or "can't you just ever pick up your clothes after your shower?" or anything that starts with "Why can't you ever....?"
We all have little things that we continue to do daily even though we know our spouse hates it. Mine is, I always take the plastic thing off the milk cap and leave it laying on the counter instead of putting it in the trash 2 feet away from me. My husband has mentioned it to me a handful of times, but he has realized this is something that might not be very important to me like it is to him especially when I'm trying to make three milk cups with three very thirsty babies, all screaming at me at the same time! And I have to say he now just picks it up and puts it in the trash without a word!
After my last video I posted about Ed & Rachelle, they really captivated my interest! So I started watching more and more of their videos! So check out this video I found of Ed and Rachelle.....
You can see how important this was to him, but maybe she had her mind on something else and forgot. A simple, "honey, I found this in the disposal it's really important to me that you put it in the compost pile" would do, but in the video he seemed a bit harsh, almost treating her like a child at some point by reminding her of the rules. This would have made me feel torn down, like I never do anything right, and belittled which for a man to feel this way can be very harmful!
Proverbs 15:1 " A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
There have been so many times I could have answered my husband more gently than I did and avoided a huge blow up fight, or even just avoided hurting his feelings!
So this week lets be more aware of how we answer our husbands, are we being gentle or harsh? Can we avoid conflict this week by giving a gentle answer, or even turning away wrath and anger by avoiding the urge to pick out little things that aren't REALLY that important. Also, lets make sure to build our husbands up this week, encourage them! If you have something negative to address them with make sure you start out with two positives, then the negative after, this will soften the impact of the negative. Try to leave the past in the past, and work on a new gentle future.
Love you all, praying for you this week and hope you will pray for me as well! Don't forget to go over to the Facebook page and put your thoughts in the discussion forum. If you haven't commented on last weeks challenge do that as well I'd love to know how you did!! Be on the look out this week, for more chances to win an extra entry into the end of the month drawing for next Wednesday!
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