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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Challenge #9 July 30-August 5, 2010

So for the month of August we are moving onto verse 14.Proverbs 31:14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

One thing my husband and I have discussed in the last few months is how much we have begun to dislike living in the state of Virginia. I'm not sure if it's just the area we are in or if it's the entire state, but it seems like it is just such a fast paced area!

People around here are so busy all the time! At one time in our lives, we were so busy and on the go so much, that we only had time to stop by the house to drop things off and grab something else. That life got old fast! People here are so busy that I have to make an appointment to call them! Most of my conversations with people end up like this:

"we should get together sometime!" Other person, "yeah that would be great!" me "okay well when is a good time to call you to set up a play date?"

Haha, have you ever heard of such?! Scheduling an appointment to call and schedule an appointment, that is just crazy!

In verse 14 it talks about being like the merchant ship. A Merchant ship is very large, it can hold a lot, but is very slow to get to where it needs to go! However this method is used and even preferred over using a plane because it takes less energy and can hold so much more than a plane. Sometimes it's better to slow down and take your time instead of being so busy and going, going, going all over the place.

One thing I've implemented in the last year in my life is doing all my errands in 1 day, and only being gone from home, 1 day a week! When I'm away from home so often and I get so busy with life, it's so hard to enjoy it! I find myself trying to keep up with my home, cooking, bills, and other things instead of being able to spend time with my family, and have a relaxing evening with my husband.

Just this week I've been in such a nesting mode to get the house organized for baby #4 to make her appearance. Before my house would be cleaned but I'd let my bedroom go for weeks, or it would be cleaned but cluttered, or cleaned but disorganized. Whatever the state of our home, I never felt that I could just sit down at night and play a game with my husband or pull out my scrapbook stuff and go at it, because I either had so much on my mind that needed done and couldn't concentrate without getting stressed. Or maybe I just felt guilty for having ME time when I didn't have my house in the order I wanted it! But this last week I've gone through every drawer, every space, every nook & cranny of our home and organized, got rid of things and got our home in the order that I want it! I can't tell you what a huge difference it has made in our moods, and in how de-stressed I feel in the evenings! I feel like I can actually do other things that I like, or that my husband likes, and I actually feel great about our home!

Would I have been able to do this when my life was chaos and I was on the run all the time...NO WAY! And I didn't either, nor did I spend quality time with my husband without having a million things on my mind!

So this week ladies, lets take a breath, slow down, take our time and get that long list of things done that we've wanted to do for a long time!! Faster is not always better. Re-evaluate your schedules and move as much to 1-2 days as you can instead of being gone away from your home so much. You will be surprised at how much less stressed you are when you slow down your life a little and become more efficient. No husband wants to come home to a stressed, chaotic woman after a hard day at work and become even more stressed himself. Your time with your husband should be completely about you and him! Take time to get to know each other again this week, instead just riding in the car to the next errand together. Take 10 minutes every day and have "couch time" with your husband when he gets home NO MATTER WHAT! Send the kids to their rooms to play and let him talk about his day, with your undivided attention! Remember slow and steady wins the race!

Make sure to head over to the discussion tab on the facebook page and let us know how you are doing this week

Please continue to help us grow this ministry! If you place a link to the The Modern Proverbs 31 Wife on your facebook page you will receive three entries into our end of the month drawing, just post on the facebook wall and let me know you've done it. You never know whose marriage you will save just by posting a link!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Challenge #8 July 22-28, 2010

Prov 31:13 "She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands"

**Hello ladies, first of all just a note to let you know I am now 32.5 weeks along with baby #4 and will probably start getting a little behind on my postings until after the baby comes with all I need to do to get ready for her, so please be patient. But also please be eager to get to the next challenge! Just cause they are late does not mean they aren't coming!!

Last week we talked about protecting the hearts of our families through the things we watch, say, or bring into our home. This week we're going to talk about "Selecting the Best for our family" which goes right along with last week!

But this week, we are going to dig a little deeper into our hearts! We're going to examine our own hearts for selfishness.

This subject has been on my mind all week long! I've come in contact with so many people around me who want to make good selections for their families, but when it comes down to it, are not capable of putting their own wants and desires aside to make the best choices for their families.

When I think of this verse in Prov. 31:13, I picture a wife sitting down at a table looking through mounds of fabric. She picks out pieces that are pleasing and beautiful to her, however, her selection is for her husband and his taste is much different. So the wife puts aside her picks, and tries to pick the BEST materials that she thinks her husband would like!

If she had picked out a material that she would want him to wear, or she thought would look better on him even though he did not care for that material, I'm sure her husband would not have been very happy.

We all have our preference on how we want to run our households as a wife or mother. However, sometimes our preference isn't always BEST for our husband or our children.

I remember when my husband and I were about to get married, we were planning our honeymoon for two weeks in Cancun. I was totally excited to get new outfits. I ordered myself some tropical looking dresses and thought he should match me! So I also found him a few tropical beach shirts. Only really thinking of myself and how cute I thought we'd look together as newlyweds, I didn't really take into consideration his style. So when the shirts came in, he was very nice about it. He told me he would wear them cause they would be cooler on the beach, but that he probably wouldn't ever wear them again, and he hasn't!

That is just a small example of putting our own desires or preferences before others in our families. There are so many other ways we as women, mothers, and wives tend to do this daily.

So this week your challenge is to examine your heart with every selection, decision you make. Pray over your choice, make sure it isn't coming with selfish motives but with the BEST interest of your children and husband in mind. This can be anything from what type of dinner you make this week, does your schedule accommodate you or your husband and children, do you only clean when it's convenient for you, do you spend time with your kids besides TV? This can go all the way back to our last weeks challenge with what we watch, listen to or people we hang out with. Are we selecting the BEST most beautiful things for our families or are we selecting them according to our own desires?

Praying for you all this week, examining your own hearts can get pretty messy and ugly sometimes so hang in there and keep with it!

Remember from now till the end of the month you will be entered into the drawing to win the book "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge by replying to discussion forums and even posting on the Facebook wall. Make sure you share this ministry with your friends, you never know whose marriage it will save!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Challenge#7 July 15-July 21, 2010

Proverbs 31:13 "She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands."

Do you ever just want to run around the house with no clothes on when you're the only one home? Sounds freeing right? Would you ever decide to stand in the kitchen and cook without clothes on? I know I wouldn't! Why? I'd be afraid of what I might catch on fire! LOL. We wear clothes for protection of our bodies, for modesty, for many different reasons!

The first outfits were made by God to protect and cover Adam and Eve after the fall of man. Genesis 3:11 "And he said, "who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from? Genesis 3:21-22 "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. And the Lord God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil...."

Before the fall of man, we had no knowledge of Good and Evil. Unfortunately, today we are all BORN naked with a sinful nature. I never taught my 4 year old to lie, or to steal toys from her sisters, or to be disrespectful to her Mom & Dad; she did these things naturally! But I do have to teach her that they are wrong, that she should share, not to lie, and not tell Mommy & Daddy NO! I call this "clothing their hearts."

There are so many meanings for the word "Naked;" I wanted to share a few of my favorite (***):
1. Without clothing or covering
2. Bare or stripped
3. without protection***
4. defenseless, unprotected, exposed***

When Adam and Eve realized they were naked in the garden of Eden, they hid from God, their best and only friend, their Father, the only person who could have helped them in the situation. They felt the shame of the sin that they committed. Then, (does this sound familiar) God asked them, "WHY did you disobey me when I told you NOT to do this? Because you disobeyed you will have to be punished." And then God forgave them and made garments for them to cover their nakedness.

That reminds me so much of when I discipline my children; my first question is WHY did you do this?! Then I always go on to the discipline, and punishment; afterward we hug and kiss, and then they are corrected, or I guess you can say that I clothe their hearts from sin by correcting the problem and telling them how this can be avoided next time.

When we clothe our children and husbands' hearts, we cover up their nakedness, and protect their hearts from sin, shame, and destruction. So many times it's the small things that leave our children/husbands' hearts exposed. Things like: what we watch, what we listen to, what we say around them.

When my husband and I were dating in the VERY beginning, years ago, I remember one time being in a Blockbuster looking for a movie to rent. Along comes another girl. Her belly was hanging out, short shorts, low cut top, you get the picture. I watched him fix his eyes on her and watch her walk across the room. Now to be fair, I even watched her because, really, you couldn't not stare at her with what she was wearing! But, him watching her, if we were married at the time, could have opened up a WHOLE load of problems for our marriage.

On television now days, anything goes- even on the "family" programs! It's important as the wife, the heart of the family, and the one who "clothes" the hearts of your family, to set standards for these type of things. For our family, I have to say my husband was actually the one who set the standards in this area. Once we were married he has always been VERY respectful of me and what he watches. He always makes sure to check and see what something is rated, and rarely ever watches something rated R. If something pops up unexpectedly, he will turn his head or fast forward it; in several cases, he has just turned it off the show completely. I've never had to ask him once to do this; he just does because he knows how important it is to me that he be shame free, and protected from the bigger things that the little things can lead to.

As the wife, we might not be able to control everything our husbands want to watch. However, we can control what we watch. I don't know how many times in the past I've watched some shows like Grey's or Desperate Housewives and they always start out clean and then you get hooked. Then they throw in some homosexuality, premarital sex, you name it- and because you're hooked already it's hard to turn it off! My husband will sit and watch them with me at times and up pops a half naked woman! By limiting what we watch as the wife, even if our husbands decides to watch things on their own that we don't agree with, it will still clothe and protect their hearts. Then you can walk away knowing you've made the right choice for your family. My husband has said before "if it's not good enough for our kids to watch it, then why would it be good enough for us to watch?"

It is the same with our children, how many times have we turned on a cartoon and just sat them in front of it without REALLY knowing what they are watching?! I did this when my 4 year old was younger. I wasn't familiar with all the new cartoons when I first became a mom, and assumed they were all okay for her. So, I'd turn on NICK, sit her in front of Spongebob or whatever was on, and go clean my house! Until one day, I sat with her, and actually watched it! It was a funny cartoon, but Spongebob was lying and cheating!! If he were real, he would not exactly be someone I would want my children to learn character traits from!

Ephesians 4:27 "And do not give the devil a foothold." If you were walking across the room and someone grabbed you by the foot, you wouldn't just lose your balance, your entire body would fall crashing to the ground! From that small hold that someone could get on your foot, it could effect your entire body! From that one naked woman, or small temptation your husband watches on a show you turn on, it could effect your entire marriage. From that one lie that your child sees on a cartoon and thinks is funny, it could effect them the rest of their lives!

Our challenge this week is to observe your family. Take a closer look at what you are bringing into your home: games, movies, music, gossip, anger, even people etc. Figure out how you can clothe your family's hearts, or protect their hearts, from these things. If you've never paid attention to what your kids are watching during the day, sit with them one day this week, all day, and find out! What in your life can you protect your family from that could be destructive to their hearts? You will be amazed at the impact these things have on your family.

Just this week, I decided to really crack down on what my kids were watching. I have felt recently we've been a little less strict on the cartoons, and I've been having the worst few weeks behavior-wise with them. So, this week they have gotten MAYBE 1 hour of TV and it has been a Veggie Tale, a Bible DVD, or something about God. Already, in these few short days, it has made a HUGE difference in their character!

I'm praying for wisdom for you all this week; I know it can be hard to give up things that you've done/watched/listened to for so long, but it will be totally worth it in the end! Love you all!

Make sure to head over to the discussion tab on the facebook page and let us know what you've observed about your family this week!

Please continue to help us grow this ministry! For the month of July if you place a link to the The Modern Proverbs 31 Wife on your facebook page you will receive three entries into our end of the month drawing to receive the book "CAPTIVATING" by Stasi & John Eldredge! You never know whose marriage you will save just by posting a link!

God Bless!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Challenge #6 July 8, 2010-July 14, 2010

Okay so I've been a huge slacker this week with posting! So sorry it's late, but at least you got a few extra days to not have to worry about a Challenge ;)

So this week in keeping with our verse this month Prov. 31:13 " She Selects wool and flax and works with eager hands." Our challenge this week is going to be to "Work with eager hands."

Lets look at the definition of "EAGER":

Having or showing keen interest, intense desire, or impatient expectancy.


I can't honestly say that I get up every morning "eager" to start my day as a mother, wife, and homemaker. Most days I dread getting out of bed to look at my pile of laundry & dishes, not to mention the changing the baby's morning blow outs that start my mornings off JUST wonderfully! Then at the end of a busy day after being with three kids all day long in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy, I can't honestly say I am always "eager" to prepare, and make dinner for my husband who is returning home from a long day of work himself.

Now the kids bedtime, I get "eager" for on those long days, but being eager to clean and cook and change diapers and re-clean the same room 3 times during the same day and vacuum the same room 3 times is not my idea of something to be eager to do!

The things in my day I do become eager about is wanting to cuddle with my kids and husband, wanting to teach my children about Christ on a daily basis, finding tools and resources to teach them about Christ, eating that home cooked meal at the end of a long day. The best part of my day that I am most eager for, is when my husband comes through the door, grabs me tight, looks in my eyes and kisses me hello like it's the first time he has ever kissed me.

Sometimes that kiss I am so "eager" for at the end of the day, gets distracted when he comes home. It gets distracted by the mess the girls made again in the living room while I was in the kitchen trying to prepare dinner, or gets distracted by the pile of laundry that didn't make it into the washer today because I was too busy with the kids, or just didn't feel like it. Or some days it gets distracted by the rush to get the whole family out the door and loaded into the car to go get some dinner because I didn't feel like making it that day.

So much of that mess could have been avoided if I could have just worked with "eager hands" all day every day. My husband understands how hard it is with three little ones and being pregnant so he doesn't always expect the house to be SPOTLESS, but he works all day and my job is the house and the kids, and the last thing I want is him to come home to a dirty house and feel like he has to work more, or feel like our home isn't a place he WANTS to be to relax.

Also by being "eager" to keep a clean house, it allows you to have MORE free time during the day to to the things that you LOVE and are passionate about. Where as, if your house is unclean, it just always feels like you can't relax because there is always something else to do!

A great website that has helped me develop a good routine is www.flylady.com. If you are a busy mom or wife this site will really help you to get everything done that needs to be done in order to have a clean home.

So this week I challenge you to "work with eager hands." Wake up CHOOSING to desire a clean house this week. And CHOOSING to keep those hands moving throughout the day to make your house a home for your husband to come home to. And if you are already good at keeping a clean house, just go deeper, de-clutter, disinfect those toys that haven't been wiped down in a while, wash those curtains etc. Remember When you change your environment you change your life!"

Praying for you all this week! Make sure you head over to the Facebook Page in the discussion tab for this week and let us know how it's coming!! When you post this week you will earn 2 entries into the end of the month drawing for July!

Keep it up ladies, your doing fantastic!!